I recently discovered that my cat can walk on trails. It required some letting go and trusting that he would not just bolt or climb into a sewer, but he’s surprised me. Over time, he lets me walk near him and he follows the trails (mostly). We have learned how to move together in a way that works for both of us. I let him hide in a bush when a hiker or a dog passes us, and I allow a lot of time for long pauses, and in exchange, he’s allowed me to accompany him on his treks.
Whenever I start to feel tired or restless, I always go and sit directly on the ground in a park or in the forest with my back against a tree. I sit and I rest. Sometimes an hour will pass. I listen. I “do nothing.” But I have discovered that in the “doing nothing”, there is much being done.
I have found myself recently staring into the tree canopies towards the clouds, just resting my gaze there. I’ll start sending questions into the sky. And without fail, I am always met with answers. …
To believe that you must know how everything will or should happen before it happens is unrealistic. It reveals an unconsciousness to the vast limits of what we perceive, think, feel, and know. To know what you do not know is important to understanding that you cannot control every detail of how something will unfold. Have reverence for the complexity of life and understand that the intention is more important than the choreographed detail.
Spending time in wild places is the closest thing I’ve ever felt to experiencing transcendence and divinity. Mountains are the only royalty I’ve ever recognized. When I get really quiet and listen deeply in a wild place, I can feel my ancestors, the ancient ones that gathered and foraged and understood the complexity and intelligence of the land, coming to life again in me.
Watching the destruction and disappearance and “selling off” of these natural places is painful, especially as it is not recognized that they hold the key to the survival of our species. The call of the wild and the responsibility to defend what is sacred and cannot speak for itself seems to grow stronger in me each day.
What the body and mind seek is resolution, no matter how large or small your experience. There is a reason why the circle is one of the most prevalent shapes in our reality and in nature, and why we call it “the circle of life.” To move forward, we need an ending. We need resolution. When we don’t find resolution, we end up suppressing emotions and hurtful experiences that accumulate like sediment at the bottom of a glass over time. …
What happens when you give love and you don’t get it back?
Earlier this year, my beloved cat Rainn disappeared. I spent so many weeks searching for him, grieving his loss, beating myself up for not being more careful with him, imagining scenarios in which he was cold, hungry and scared in an unfamiliar terrain. As one who respects the volition of all beings, I also considered that he didn’t want to come back. Time heals, as they say, and I was eventually able to soften into compassion for myself and make peace with the uncertainty that I’d never fully…
There is nothing better to me than when someone is able to see my soul, in all of its complexity and nuance. That life-giving experience when someone sees, understands, and acknowledges the value of what I’m here to do and where my magic lies is pure gold and what I live for, even if its rare.
The desire to be “known” has often led me to compromise my way of being, to abide by a certain set of social rules, to fit into boxes. We are all creating boxes for each other all the time, whether it is conscious or…
The word “release” is just as misused and misunderstood in the spiritual community as the word “resist” is in the activist community. Anything that you “release” never fully leaves you. Rather, you form a new understanding, relationship or channel of communication with it. The aim should really be to “integrate” and not to “release” what is no longer desirable or needed, because releasing can unintentionally become a way to suppress or deny an aspect of yourself. Instead, we can acknowledge parts of ourselves previously denied and better position those aspects of ourselves for our own optimization and well-being.
though it’s not valued
in our culture
there is wealth
in observing one spot
every shift of the wind
of the sun and clouds
that passes by
through growth and wreckage.
this is the expertise
of the grass and trees.
those who watch.
On my mother’s 64th birthday, she woke up breathing with new lungs. This is nothing short of miraculous and I will tell you the story.
It’s been a long, excruciating journey to get her here. Many years back, my mom started having trouble breathing. It started with a sore throat, a persistent cough, and getting winded going up a flight of stairs, and progressed into something far more insidious than I could have ever imagined, to the point of complete immobility, rapid breathing with fits of suffocation, physical deterioration of muscles and rapid weight loss, bone loss and resulting fractures…